Friday, September 19, 2008

Fate?

Do you ever wonder is there is a moment in life that turns the axes of everything. One moment you are determined to be a meat packer in Duluth the next you find yourself applying for a master's program emphasizing in Dom Deluise Studies or Palin-tology(a cute title I saw on Time this week). I am looking back at my life, always a sign of maybe just a teensy bit of "the blues" as they are so called, and wondering when those great moments of change could have occurred. Was it the time Taylor Kaelin called me "twinkle-toes" while I was batting at a little league game in Burgess Park or the time I was talking to Jenny Webster in the 200 hall of Lone Peak and she asked me if other people found me intimidating. Perhaps, a major life change happened as I strolled the Streets of New York with me friend Trevor Wright only to find myself walking into the point of a finger belonging to a homeless man who said, "you are a very attra...no, wait," and moved his device of projectile implication to Trevor's face,"you are a very attractive man." I'll never know but somehow out of all the events that have happened I can vividly remember these moments because the created some doubt in self-perception and perhaps caused hyper-focus on things that don't matter. What I find so humorous about these events is that if I went back to those with whom they happened (minus Trevor) they would probably not even remember them. Yet, in the static space between my temples I can recreate them. Bizarre what sticks with us.

2 comments:

AllgauerJodler said...

Taylor Kaelin... may he rot in hell.

Amanda Jane said...

It is weird what sticks with us, almost unfair they get so much clout in our memory. I've told you before but I'll tell you again that your homecoming talk has stuck with me through the last few years. It is perhaps the only church talk I can vividly recall becoming a part of me. It was right after I had Scarlett and right before I had that stroke. You talked about how everything that happens to us happens so we can help somebody else get through it better/easier than we did (at least that's essentially what I got out of it.) It's not that I didn't know that before it was just the way that you verbalized it really spoke to me. It's become a part of me and become one of the central themes of my testimony in general. Perhaps a blog comment isn't the best place to share this with you, a little heavy handed. But it's true. You may remember very little of what you said that day but it has always stuck in my memory. When those other memories get stuck in your subconcious try to remember me telling you this. Because it really meant that much to me.