Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Nebulous definition of "blog"
So I'm sitting here doing what any good college student does, avoiding doing homework by updating facebook and my blog. Two nouns that have so saturated my life that I'm not sure facebook and blogspot haven't ever not been a part of my life, you know kind of like family matters. I mean can anyone convince me that humans didn't ever not have family matters or Ipods for that matter.
I am suppose to be working on my take home exam for stats but, instead I am analyzing the reasons to blog. Is a blog a sort of public diary or is it an account of a certain self you wont everyone to see? Though there are implicit assumptions in that last statement. Like right now I want people to see I am a nerd because I can use big words in context. But sometimes, in high school, I played the dumb kid because I thought people liked that. Yet, were those attributes characteristic I fabricate and completely false or are they intricate parts of my personality I choose to exploit for certain characteristics? Who knows, the very fact that I'm analyzing this is making me queasy.
Why? Perceived, imaginary, or real audience, you ask. Because I have a ridiculous obsession of the new MTV hit show, "Paris Hilton, My new BFF." I want to break up with myself. ON the latest episode of PFF (Here to and forever the acronym referring to this parasitic show) little Onch, the asian lady boy was kicked off for being fake. This is a man that messes around with gender in every way possible. At the "future friends of Paris council," Onch was placed before the clymitee and asked if he was real. He then in a surrealistic bit of performance art took off his make up for Paris to show that from now on he would be himself. Onch then went on the explain that he was real that with one girl it brought out his "bubbly and cute" side, and with another he was a "bad-ass." To which Paris said, "Sounds like you have a problem." AT this I wanted to vomit, just like little Onch vomited on the previous episode because he couldn't ride roller coasters. I wanted to vomit because I agreed with Paris Hilton, the woman who has given our generation social syphilis. I agreed with her, and I was ashamed. It's kind of like discovering ones nakedness I imagine.
Anyway, I thought about Lady Boy Onch and realized that we talked about this theory in Speech last week. Every person alters there presentation of self based on their audience. Maybe inside of each and every one of us is a LBO. I think of my friends and what I alter about myself around them. Wait, wait what am I saying. This is MTV. I am not learning life lessons from MTV. End of discussion.
HELP END MY ADDICTION TO PFF(I even considered doing the next season so I can become Paris' best friend forever, because we know forever is relative)
Anyway, is my blog me or what I want others to see me as. In a way yes and no because I have a severe case of asperger's and don't really know what is socially acceptable but based on my stereotypes I attempt to present my skewed version of reality that I think is cool to others. You know, like Paris Hilton.